ok but Pinako definitely knew Hohenheim was immortal right
but she also clearly Did Not Care. literally every other person in this series is out there looking for immortality and Pinako’s like yeah my dumb best friend is immortal, whatever, not a big deal
Pinako: hey Van why do you still look the exact same as when I met you forty years ago?
Hohenheim: awkward sputtering as he tries to think of a believable lie
Pinako: jk I’m just screwing with you I don’t care, watch me chug this pint
and let’s be real, Yuriy probably knew too bc it’s pretty obvious his mom keeps getting older but her weird best friend hasn’t aged a day since Yuriy was born
and if Yuriy knew I’m sure he told Sara
(“Sara, should we let Winry get so close to those boys I’m pretty sure their dad is immortal.” “I don’t think it’s contagious, Yuriy.”)
furthermore, Resembool was a small town – an everyone knows everyone kind of town. There’s no way other people didn’t notice that Pinako’s weird friend / that man living with Trisha wasn’t aging during the like 40ish years he lived there
basically what I’m saying is I need to see the prequel spin off where the Rockbells and Trisha have to come up with ridiculous excuses for why Hohenheim isn’t aging, all the while Hohenheim still thinks he’s going a great job of hiding it
and by ridiculous explanations, I mean on par with Ed and Al saying Al was wearing the armor for his alchemy training
“He uses really good moisturizer.”
“Oh you must have met his father – they look a lot alike.”
“Well you know how us doctors always preach the importance of a healthy diet – he just listened to us.”
Trisha’s the Queen of Evasion
“Hey Trisha what’s up with your husband?” “Oh I know he’s a little socially awkward.” “No…I meant like why doesn’t he ever -“ “Come into town? I try and get him to but he’s very shy.” And she just smiles Sweetly and Innocently at them until they drop it
People have stopped asking Pinako because she’s just like “why the hell are you asking is it any of your business??”
they fool literally no one but the people of Resembool gave just learned to stop asking (and gossip about it amongst themselves – there’s so many rumors going around)
also the only reason his secret didn’t get out to other cities and lead to everyone looking for immortality slowing up at his door is because Small Town Resembool is loyal and protective of their citizens – like yeah that Hohenheim sure is weird and we’re not positive he’s human but he’s One of Ours and like hell were telling anyone not from around here
Okay but consider:
“Hey Frank, you sure we can trust that
Hohenheim guy?”
“Well I dunno, Gertrude. I did catch him skulking around my house the other night, but when I investigated in the morning, nothing was missing and crack in my cellar doorframe was gone.”
“Now you mention it, my fence posts did seem a lot sturdier after he started taking his evening strolls by my place.”
Rumours spread among the town, but at the same time, Trisha gets a bunch of invites to bring the family over for dinner. And those invites just happen to take her and her husband by and dilapidated parts of their homes, which, somehow, wind up fixed over the next month.
The people would protet their own anyway, mind. But there’s no chance they are letting some outsider threaten or steal away Resembool’s very own helpful cryptid.
“Resembool’s very own helpful cryptid” is only one of the names Hohenheim has picked up over the course of his long, long life, but probably the best
everyone knows Hohenheim is weird and that holding a conversation with the guy is near impossible, but damn if he isn’t always willing to help out and handy to have around. plus his wife is so lovely and their sons just darling – Resembool loves their strange mysterious cryptid family on the hill
It really is a cryptid family even after Hohenheim leaves because of Ed and Al. Like, they go disappear for half a year to learn alchemy, come back, and then suddenly they’re at the Rockbells’; Ed’s missing an arm and a leg and Al grew 4 feet overnight and is in a suit of armor. And that’s not to mentioning the military showing up right after.
I think about this all the time!!!
more under the cut because this post is already so long
Tag: fma
hoppin into fma fashion week just in time for the last day!
theme u was jewelry, so paninya getting her ears pierced by who i’m pretty sure is the most competent ear piercer in the entire canon, right? i dont know anything about piercings.
Best parts of the Dublith arc that didn’t make it into the anime, in order:
- When Izumi mentioned that they ran into Hohenheim, she commented that he was good looking, and Sig got dejected and Izumi was all “Oh please, you know you’re way better looking than him!” while the Elrics were awkward as hell in the background
- The Elrics and the Curtises and Mason all eating dinner together and chatting super casually like a family!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
- When Ed asked why Izumi and Sig don’t have any kids even though they love kids and have been married for a long time, Mason interrupted by slamming his hands on the table and going “HEY ED!”, then realized he didn’t have anything to say, and was all “Uhhhhhhhh OH HEY WHY DON’T YOU SHOW ME YOUR ALCHEMY SKILLS YEAH THAT SOUNDS GOOD” and Ed and Al were actually genuinely thrilled to show everyone how much they’ve learned since the last time they were in Dublith
- A group of little kids enthusiastically ran up to Izumi asking her to fix a broken toy train, but then suddenly got really quiet and snuck far around Sig before resuming their excited yelling. Poor Sig was very upset that all the kids are intimidated by his resting bitchface
- Bido was sent to follow Ed and Al to find out if Ed really managed a successful soul binding, so when he brought it up Ed kicked him in the face. When Bido wouldn’t leave them alone, Ed threw a garbage can at him. He just. straight up hurled a full garbage can at him. Then they fought a little bit before Bido eventually climbed up a wall and ran off, leaving poor Ed and Al standing in the middle of an alley going what the fuck just happened
- Ed actually wasn’t there at the time that Al got kidnapped; He had been in the middle of working out when he suddenly remembered he completely forgot about his state alchemist yearly assessment, so he had to drop everything and go to South HQ immediately. Al stayed behind in Dublith because it was only a few days’ trip and there wasn’t really any reason for him to go anyway
- When he mentioned this, Izumi said “Great! I’ll go ahead and call the military and tell them you’re not coming.” But if you pay close attention, she actually subconsciously dialed the number for a ramen shop
- Also when Ed got to South HQ it turned out he didn’t even need to do anything, because Bradley coincidentally happened to be there and just stamped some papers with his seal and was like “Alright you’re all set keep up the good work kid”
- When Al refused to go with the chimeras and they said they’d have to take him by force, they all braced themselves for a fight, but then he just… fucking ran off, Joseph Joestar style. YEET.
- They chased him through an abandoned factory and thought they’d have an easy victory, since it’s so maze-like and they knew its layout well, but actually it turned out Al also knew it because he and Ed used to play in the abandoned factory when they were kids, so he just led the chimeras in circles to tire them out until they finally figured out what he was doing
- When Al wasn’t home in time for dinner, Mason said that he was worried… maybe Al got kidnapped. Then he and the Curtises immediately started laughing because lmao as if, that would be absurd, who could possibly manage to take down Al? (Cut to Al being Actually Kidnapped)
- Al told Greed that he didn’t remember how his soul was transmuted, so Greed was all “Well we’ll just ask the guy who did it, then,” and Al told him that he couldn’t because Ed was “gone” (aka away at South HQ). Greed and the chimeras misunderstood, thought Ed was dead, and immediately started backpedaling and whispering about oh shit, that was so insensitive, we fucked up, poor kid, and then they awkwardly tried to comfort Al and tell him everything would be ok
- Greed and the gang decided to look for different solutions, including trying to use hypnosis to unlock Al’s repressed memories. It didn’t work
- When nothing worked, one guy who apparently knows some alchemy told Greed that he should just let him dissect Al. Al got extremely offended and said that if they were going to dissect him, they should bring in someone at least on a state alchemist’s level because he didn’t want to be dissected by amateurs, and Greed was like “Shit u rite”
- Izumi and Sig came and kicked all of Greed’s minions’ asses to rescue Al, but Al told Izumi that he didn’t want to be rescued until Ed got back because there was a possibility Greed (being a homunculus) might have useful information for them, so Izumi gave Greed a “If you hurt my son at all I will fucking kill you” threat and then went home. Meanwhile, all of Greed’s girlfriends were fawning over Sig
- Bradley decided he wanted to meet Ed’s teacher, so he showed up at Dublith (escorted by Armstrong) wearing a hawaiian shirt and a straw hat and gave Ed a melon as a gift. He came to the shop asking for Izumi, but Sig wouldn’t let him talk to her, so Armstrong was all “Let me handle this.” He and Sig flexed at each other silently until they came to some sort of mutual understanding, and thus immediately became friends thanks to their muscles
- While Ed was on his way to the Devil’s Nest, you know, where a gang of villains with superhuman abilities was holding his brother hostage, he was literally thinking to himself “I wonder what teacher’s making for dinner tonight, anyway”
- After the military invaded the Devil’s Nest, even the Fuhrer’s own soldiers were shocked and disturbed by the extent of his ruthlessness, saying that they didn’t expect to kill everyone and that it felt like too much
you thought I was kidding about making up fictional non-fiction (mostly) books, didn’t you. you fools. you naive fools.
Memoirs
Roy Mustang. Central City Press, 1953
Volume 1: War
Volume 2: Peace
Dogs of War: The Complete History of the State Alchemy Program
A.M. Gallipoli. Sanderson Press, 1975
Dearest, Darling Gracia
Bertholdt Strutley, with a forward by MP Elicia Hughes. Central City Press, 1981“Ms. Hughes’ release of her parents letters to the library archives was truly a boon to historians everywhere, and those interested in the Ishvalan Revolt in particular. The on-the-ground detail they add to our knowledge of the conflict, from the pen of a homesick, lovesick, and heartsick soldier, is incredible, and Strutley expands on it well.”
– Carson Armitage, Chief of History, Central City Library Administration“…Strutley’s decision to keep the letters centerpiece, and fill in the historical context around them, was genius…a beautiful contrast.”
– Hana Qumari, author of Fire and Blood: The Ishvalan Extermination“It’s good to see the old man get some recognition in his own right, not just the ‘first casualty of…whatever’….such a sap, though.”
– Edward Elric, Former State Alchemist, Former Professor of Alchemy at Curtis University
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