people who can just plop their sweet lil heads down on their pillow and quickly fall asleep don’t know how lucky they are… i gotta construct a whole ass cinematic universe in my head with dramatic plot twists and in-depth characters to help me fall asleep
I was genuinely stunned when I realised not everyone told themselves elaborate internal bedtime stories every night without fail, inclusive of occasionally having to get back up out of bed to figure out a blocking issue in the mental scene that’s fucking up your ability to concerntrate on the narrative. It’s honestly only in the last few years that I’ve realised the amount of time I spend in various paracosms is not necessarily that normal, and for the life of me I cannot figure out what the fuck people who don’t do this spend their time thinking about?
My mum says she just thinks about real world stuff? All the time? Like jobs she has to do and the like?
I can remember lying in bed when I couldn’t have been any older than six mentally constructing self-insert Lord of the Rings AUs, I reckon a solid 90% of my waking life is spent with at least a background noise of some fictional scenario running through my mind, and I just find it completely fascinating how different people’s brains work because it had genuinely never occurred to me that that wasn’t just How Humans Functioned.
Brains are weird. Also I still can’t figure out what I’d do with all that time and brainspace, I can’t comprehend it at all.
Tag: MOOD
One of my favorite things about writers is that you can post any vaguely relatable “writer’s problems” sentiment and writers will use it to call themselves out. It’s like going up to a stranger of a fellow writer and saying, “Hey, are you down to absolutely roast yourself?” And the answer is always an enthusiastic, unwavering, “Oh, hell yes, let me tell you about this fuckin’ bitch.”
When people tell me, “Trust your gut! Follow your intuition!” Like, bitch, I have anxiety. My “gut” is usually telling me that everyone hates me and that I’m going to die. I can’t trust what that motherfucker tells me.
Sometimes I get so mad at myself like.. I have so much potential and I don’t put it to use, I could achieve so many things but instead I procrastinate and waste my time in things that don’t matter. I could throw my phone away and lock myself in my house with my books but it wouldn’t change anything. It’s all in my head, I’m my fucking limit and I don’t know how to cross it. I’m stopping myself and I don’t know what to do to change that…
do u ever do something mildly impolite like not give a nice goodbye or not hold a door and spend the rest of the day thinking about it
This girl that lives in my hallway in my dorm waved to me the other day between classes and I didn’t see her in time to wave back and it has literally haunted me for like 2 weeks.
me @ myself: wish you weren’t so fuckin awkward bud
i just had to draw this because i feel like screaming tbh
This happens way too much for me now but all I can do is smile and nod because if I say something I’m automatically a sjw and my words are dismissed.
me: *watches tv show*
tv show:[character is about to do something embarrassing]
me: *hides face*
tv show:[character does the thing]
me: *pauses the show, gets up, starts cleaning the room, does the dishes, finishes homework, goes for a walk, pets a dog, updates blog, reads a book, calls mum, takes a shower and tries to forget what just happened*
Ah, yes, the glorious ritual of Fremdschämen… (German word that translates as “strange embarrassment”, aka feeling embarrassed for a stranger.)
This is why I have never been able to sit through hidden camera gag shows, much to the bewilderment of my family.
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